1 + 1 = 8

First...no I am not pregnant with sextuplets! :)

The 1 + 1 = 8 refers to my mom and (stepdad) John's recent nuptials. As John likes to describe it, our families are united under a common "G" (they are HUGE Green Bay Packer fans represented by a green and yellow G and we are HUGE Georgia Bulldog fans, of course, represented by the most beautiful red and black G). Can I get a collective "awww" for this picture of them?!?! Too sweet
Back to the "eight" part of it! Together...our families bring together 8 people. More specifically, 7 WOMEN and John :) He has 4 daughters plus me and my sister, Jessica! As you can imagine he is a bit outnumbered by the sheer amount of estrogen present when we are together! His daughters - who are fabulous - live in Minnesota, so the first time we have all been under one roof together was THIS week! We ventured through the blazing heat and enjoyed a few days filled with roller coasters, water slides, cornhole, grilling, and chilling :) SOOO fun

You might think that being together would have many obstacle such as sharing 3 bathrooms among 8 people or cooking enough food to feed the whole group or trying to come to an agreement about what we should do next, but I would beg to differ. Surprisingly, these issues were not a problem....the biggest obstacle was the "language barrier."

My Southern ears had a hard time adjusting to "yankee talk." Although they cited some study that reported that Minnesota accents were the easiest to understand (I'd like to see the reference on that study!), I had to use lots of active listening skills and context clues to understand some of our conversations HAHA. I could have done a whole blog on "Language Interpretation 101: The North Meets the South"

Even so, it makes my heart smile to know that we are all united under a common "G" (more pics to come with all of us in our jerseys) to parents who have found something VERY special, and I look forward to LOTS of opportunities to hone my skills in deciphering "yankee talk" in the years to come :)

Cookie Monster in Hot Pursuit

The Cookie Monster (our 2 year old Chihuahua....and yes :) that is his real name) is VERY picky about which toy he wants to play with at any given time. He will dig through his basket until he finds exactly which toy he wants. He has:

• a frog,
• a chicken (which is actually now two separate toys - chicken head and chicken body!),
• his own cookie monster,
• chick-fil-a cow,
• old slippers, etc., etc.

Anyway, yesterday I washed all those toys, and this morning he was not happy about it! He dug through his basket for 5+ minutes pulling out toys, putting them aside, and digging some more. HAHAHA guess he didnt like the "snuggle fresh" smell of his toys! Check it out:

I've heard that you shouldn't pray for patience...

I've heard that if you pray for patience, then God will give you plenty of opportunities to "exercise" patience! Well, I have been praying that I would have a good attitude during this season of transistions and adjustment....ahhh!!! I guess that I prayed for MANY opportunities to practice having a good attitude, because it has been a WET and WILD week for the Greer family.

1. Bubbly Toilets - The city has been working on our water lines/pipes recently. Last weekend next to NOTHING would flush. I'll try not to be too graphic, but imagine this: a #1 would hardly flush. Know what I'm saying? Our neighbors confirmed that it was happening in their homes, so we werent too worried. Just needed to be patient until they were done. Now, the toilets flush, but all week our toilets have been singing to us. They bubble; they drain. Once our bathtub was even filled with water and dirt and it did not come from the facet....up from below! Seriously.

2. Spewing Sink - Monday (start of the work week) Adam reaches under the counter to get the mouth wash to find our sink pipe (not sure if that is the technical name) spitting water. He had already fixed this once before. Something about a washer gone or the putty had disintegrated. I am not sure. We have known about this little "project," but thought it was fixed. So, we have had to shower in our bathroom, but brush our teeth and such in the front bathroom. Nothing a huge deal. Just a little annoying.

3. Walking in the Rain - Now this was TOTALLY MY FAULT! HAHA. Adam and I have been riding to campus together and if you know anything about Auburn University, you know that students have to walk and walk and walk to get from their car to their class. Well, Wednesday we were leaving campus. We were about 2/3 of the way to the car (about 5 minutes) and it starts raining. I reach in my bag to get my keys only to find...NO KEYS! I had left them on my desk. Adam turns to go get them (I wait under a tree) and it begins to POUR!! He comes back soaking wet and didnt talk to me for a while after that. My bad!

4. Fountain in the Front Bathroom - I woke up this morning to a shout of "OH CRAP!" from Adam. I leap out of bed only to find a fountain of water flying up from the floor (where the sink pipes connect) and an inch of water already on the floor in the bathroom!!! No one was even in the bathroom when it started! So I grab every towel we own while Adam runs to turn off the water. We are thankful that we were home when this happened and didnt come home to an inch of water in the whole house, because the water was coming out fast and it wouldnt have taken long to be very bad!

So, now we are waiting for the plumber and the City of Opelika to "open" so that we can get everything figured out. I also will not drink anything because I dont want to have to walk to the neighbor's house multiple times to borrow their facilities. :)

Lord...I am trying to have a good attitude. Please bless us with helpful hands this afternoon and some solutions to all the wet and wild situations we are facing. Thank you for the blessings we have received in spite of all this (a few good laughs) and for your sense of humor in providing so many "opportunities" to practice patience & having a good attitude. :)

Transitions

What do we really know about CHANGE and TRANSITIONS that happen in our lives? Adam and I have experienced LOTS of changes recently, so I keep looking & listening to how people talk about change.

• The Bible says that there is a time for everything (Ecclesiastes 3:1-8)
• Leading self-help books make analogies to moving of cheese and not gobbling marshmallows to help readers adapt to the change process in as little as a week or even an hour :)
• Various therapy approaches (I have been studying because I am taking my therapy licensing exam soon!!) encourage the change process with techniques that include shaping & modeling appropriate behavior, charting progress, increasing self-focus, decreasing anxiety, creating boundaries, challenging assumptions, reframing the situation, etc., etc.!!!!!!

Changes at the Greer home:

• Adam is going back to school FULL time as an Auburn Univ. student!!!
• Mallory "retired" from her therapy job at mental health that she has had for 3 years to teach classes at Auburn Univ!
• Adam was hired as a research assistant on campus (which is very different from the Home Depot)!

For us, change can be seen in the practical sense (i.e. bank account, the amount of time we see each other, health benefits, etc), but it is hard to put change into words. The best word we can think of is BITTERSWEET! Excited about what is to come; humbled to be offered new experiences; sad and nervous about leaving places where we feel comfortable....

Just thankful to be taking this exciting, humbling, & nerve-racking journey with a loving & supportive spouse. Will keep you updated on how we manage all this change.

PRAYERS AND ADVICE welcome :)

p.s. Picture taken today at the Valley Day on the River (super fun festival is Valley, AL). Next blog will give you the 411 on the Watermelon eating contest from the reigning Valley watermelon eating CHAMPION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)

Happy Anniversary to us!

5-9-09 to 5-9-10! What does that mean?! We have been married a WHOLE YEAR!! Happy Anniversary to the Greer family. Only 588 more months until our 50th wedding anniversary :) Until then, may we always remember and fulfill our vows to each other. (We wrote our own vows!). Here they are:

Adam to Mallory:

First, I vow to love you forever.
To protect you...
To pray for you...and with you...
To remind you how much I love you...(and why you love me so much!)
To do my best to provide for you...
To encourage you...
To always be honest with you.

Lastly, Did I say to love you FOREVER!
You are my sunshine

Mallory to Adam:

Adam, I make a covenant with my eyes, my heart, and my actions to be fully committed to you (Job 31:1)
I promise to bring you good and not harm (Proverbs 31:12)
I promise to practice patience and kindness even through the storms (1 Cor. 13:4)
I will dance when you dance; I will mourn when you mourn (Romans 12:15)
I will be there all the days of your life.

From this day forward, I pledge:
(1) To seek Christ first in our relationship (Matt. 6:33)
(2) To honor you in all my actions, and
(3) To love you forever

Here's to many, many, many more : )

Thankful...to be married to you 9x

In 9 days on May 9th, we will be celebrating our 1st anniversary! :) I could go on and on about what an amazing husband I have (because i do!!!)...he loves Jesus, he is HA-larious, by his actions I know he loves me, etc., etc. Instead, I wanted to list 9 "little" things he does that I sometimes overlook but I am quite thankful for. In no particular order:

1. He uses the closet in the front bedroom, so I can have the WHOLE closet in our bedroom! Our house was built in the 30's and closets were NOT a priority then, so every morning sweet Adam walks up front to pick out this clothes and start the day without a grumble.

2. He opens my car door. Without fail, for almost two years he has opened my car door as we get in the car. I am all about equal rights for women and I CAN open my own door, but it is sure nice to be treated like a lady. (Currently, my door handle is broken from the inside on the passenger side, so now he opens it when we get out too...haha!)

3. In the morning, he takes the first shower so I can sleep in a little more! I DO NOT LIKE the morning time. Although it takes me longer to get ready, he gets up and starts stirring around the house so that I can ease out of the bed. Now, that I think about it, he may be getting up 1st so that he doesnt hear me complain : )

4. He snuggles with the Cookie Monster. He says that he wants a "big dog," but I know CM has a special place in his heart. I catch them taking naps together frequently!
5. He doesn't mind helping...around the house...his friends...anybody. Did you know that he planned 80% of our wedding? I was so slammed with work and school, I was barely above water. He picked out the cake, the flowers, the location....and did an AMAZING JOB!

6. He helps me decorate the house for Christmas...in November!! I love, love, love Christmas and Christmas decorations especially ones that say JOY. I don't know what it is, but around Halloween I start getting an itch to decorate for Christmas. He does make me wait a little longer, but he totally helps me put up the tree in November!

7. He leaves me notes around the house. I find a sticky note around the house or in my lunch box all the time with an I <3 U and XOXO on them. I get a daily call at lunch time. The best days are when we get to meet at Moe's for lunch, but second best is that I get a call everyday to see how I am doing during his lunch : ) It is nice break in the day and it reminds me what a sweet guy I have.

9. He is now a GEORGIA FAN!!Love you!

Gardening...A Family Affair

There is a special place in my heart for the smell of cut grass. It reminds me of springtime and the sun and MY DAD!

My dad has owned a lawn service for longer than I have been alive. He works hard and is good at what he does, but man-oh-man he is a tough boss! When I was in middle school and high school, my dad wanted me to have an appreciation for hard work, so he made me go to work with him during the summer!! No, seriously. Summer break, 100 (million) degrees, and me reporting for duty at 7am with the crew to "bust some yards."

Top memories from working with dad:

1. Learning how to operate the lawn mover. If you have met me, you may know that I am a little hardheaded and like to figure things out myself. Well, I figured out how to turn the mover on. Check. I emptied the grass clippings. Check. What I didnt know was how to PUSH the mover. Instead of gripping the gas lever (thingy...see below) over the top with my hands like you are supposed to, I was holding it underneath with my THUMBS all day. At the end of my 1st day, my thumbs were bleeding, and I asked my dad if his hands had just become calloused over the years. He busted out laughing and said that NO employee in the history of the company had cut grass with their thumbs. I didnt know!! Now I do : )

2. When we would get to a yard, my dad would give out a list of tasks to the crew. It often went something like this especially in the afternoon, "So-and-so, pick up sticks, then cut the grass. I will do the hedges. Mallory, get some water and sit down so you dont pass out."

3. Often when working, I would make up rhymes to make the time go by faster. Things like: "Hot as hell; hear dad yell." "It's so hot, I'm going to die; when is lunch, I'd sure like some pie."

It was quite a learning experience, but I wouldnt trade it for the world (even if my little sister NEVER had to cut grass, but I'm not bitter). I got to see how hard my dad works. We got to spend time together. I even think he was a little impressed that I kept trying although I think my main purpose was to serve as the comic relief!

All of these memories came flooding back this weekend as my dad so generously dedicated his time and cool lawn equipment to help me and Adam whip our yard into shape. We cut, fertilized, killed stuff, edged, planted, potted, watered, and had a GREAT time! So grateful for the wonderful weather today, all the quality time we got to spend with the "Yard Boss," and our BEAUTIFUL yard!!! THANKS DAD!!

Happy Birthday Sweet Jessie!

Today is the birthday of my _____ sister! There are sooo many words I could use to describe her. The _____ depends on the day : )

It could be filled with BRILLIANT....this year she graduated (and was speaker of her class!) and is now gainfully employed at Tallahassee Memorial Hospital as a radiologic technician!!

It could be filled with SWEET...she has a sweet spirit and is the BEST person to talk to on a bad day.

It could be filled with CrAzY....you try living with her for 16 years. She farts; she will jump in your bed during a thunderstorm (or if she just feels like cuddling); she can make you laugh even if you are VERY mad and do NOT want to be laughing; she has a mean right hook (the best advice I can give is to just go into the fetal position during a fight! she will stop hitting! haha); she will not get out of the bed and for 12 years of school I always had to take the 1st shower; she will steal your clothes; she will stain your clothes. I could go on and on!

Today I will fill the ______ with BEAUTIFUL! So, happy birthday to my beautiful sister! You have blessed my life during this wild journey called sisterhood! May the Lord bless us with MANY, MANY more adventures together. Here are just a few:

I call that swinging-good PROGRESS!!

So...if you are wondering about the mancave updates (see post from 3-25-10), it was a much bigger project than expected! Progress made so far: new sheetrock on 2 of the walls that had holes, bought paint, and primed 2 of the walls! We are giving ourselves until mid-May to finish : )

In the mean time, I have wanted our swing out front painted since we moved in! It is so nice to swing and look at the park, BUT the swing was begging for attention. I told Adam that this was going to be MY project for the weekend!! Check out the BEFORE:

I also learned a little something this weekend. Ladies, take note. Instead of nagging Adam to sand & paint the swing, I told him that I wanted to do (I really did....at first!). Then, you go inside for a bit to "do the laundry" and TA-DA! Guys cant help themselves when power tools are involved! : ) I didnt even ask...he just started working. So, I certainly didnt stop him. Hahaha

After!!!!!!!!!Who is that doggy in the window?! : ) Cookie Monster!

Stranded in the Middle of the Road…Opelika Road!

I generally like Thursdays. I usually feel pretty productive from the week’s work, and the weekend is within sight! Today was no different. It has been a good week, and I was ready for the day. Meetings planned for 9am, 11:15am, and 2pm. Proctoring an exam at 9:30; copies of test already made. I was READY for the day…even a little early!

Or so I thought….

I left the house at 8am with plenty of time to make my 9am meeting. I was about 2 miles from home (if you know the area: heading to campus on Opelika Road in front of the mall). I slam on the brakes at the stop light (not so unusual), but then something VERY unusual happens! All the lights on my dashboard light up and MY CAR SHUTS OFF!! Remember, I am in the middle of the road!!!!!!! I think, “Ok...focus Mallory!” I start my car – it turns off! Again, I start my car – it turns off! Again and again!

What is the next logical thing to do if your car is “broke down” on the side of the road? CRY!!
The light is soooo green now, and cars are honking and screeching to a halt around me. I have my emergency lights on. Now, what do I do? Stay in the car? Leave my car in the road? PANIC!

So, I call Adam who is at work. He promises to be there immediately. Then all of a sudden I hear a car slamming on his breaks; he swerves around me and looks at me like, “WHAT IN THE WORLD, WOMAN!” Then he sees I am crying, and he apologizes and asks what he can do. I say that I am ok. He leaves. I am soooooooo not ok. Still in the middle of the road.

A few minutes later another kind gentleman pulls up. Stops in the middle of the road. Smiling. Calm. He immediately says, “It’s ok! You are ok!” He gets in my car (leaving his in the middle of the road!), and drives my car into the parking lot of the mall. Who knew that if you put your car in neutral that it would move!?!? I didn’t think of that for the 10 minutes that I was in the middle of the road. Then, the kind man leaves (after I hug him 3x).

At this point, one of my professors saw me walking across Opelika Road, and she pulled in the parking lot to check on me and wait with me for Adam to arrive. (Thank you, Kristen!).

While we waited for Adam, EIGHT different people stopped to see if I was ok including the guy who almost hit me earlier! He had driven to the police station to tell them that I needed help.
Then, my “Knight in Shining Armor” arrived and saved me! Love you sweetheart : )

Moral of the story:

1. FILL UP YOUR GAS TANK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Seriously, after all that I had just run out of gas. I have been driving for 10+ years, and at no point did it occur to me that I had run out of gas. GEEZ. No matter how much “book learning” you have, just remember that E = EMPTY!!

2. If you are going to break down, do it in the Auburn/Opelika area. PEOPLE ARE THE BEST!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you to those sweet souls who stopped and offered your service. May the blessing you gave me be repaid 10 fold : )

There's Something Special about Parks in the SPRING!

We are super blessed to live across the street from a park (pic above is taken from the front porch)! Although my sinuses are still screaming a bit from all the pollen....the trees, the flowers, and the chirping birds are good for my soul! The BEST part of all, though, is the people watching : )

Right now, there is a sweet older couple walking and holding hands. Most days at lunch, you can see couples dressed in work clothes enjoying the sun and unpacking their "fast food picnic" on the park benches. Last weekend, there were kids laughing & hunting Easter eggs....sooo cute. (I do realize at this point you may think I am either the neighborhood patrol or a weird window watcher....haha, that's ok!!).

What is it about springtime and parks that makes us want to be with the people we love?!

In an effort to add some activity in our lives and spend some time together, Adam and I have been walking around the park a few times a week. We talk about our plans for the day, work on the week's memory verse, and laugh at Cookie Monster as he chases the birds and squirrels! PLUS you can people watch even better when you are in the park versus on your couch : )

So off the couch and into the park!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It is good for the soul & good for your relationships

How the YELLOW sucks our life force!

Mallory and I are tough people now, and I am sure I do not need to convince anyone of that, but let me tell you what this completely unnatural force I am calling the "Yellow" does to us... It sucks our life force!!!

On Friday at work, I was so excited about Easter weekend and beautiful weather, so that we could accomplish some goals around the house. Then after a typical lunch on a typical Friday afternoon while I was fighting the tiredness from lunch and the impossibly slow moving clock, I thought that the exhaustion I was feeling was because I was overwhelmed with the excitement to be home with my wife. Then I couldn't breath out of my nose. Then my head hurt. After getting home, Mallory explained that same things were happening to her and we concluded that the "Yellowness" that is covering the entire southeast right now must be the culprit... The "Yellow"... The Pollen!!!

As I mentioned earlier, Mallory and I are quite possibly the toughest people you know (or ignorant.) So of course we brushed off this minor incident with nature and continued on to a beautiful evening were we walked to dinner and walked pleasantly back home in our beautiful neighborhood that consequently is covered in "Yellow!" We'll just sleep it off is what we both assumed...

The next morning we planned a marvelous morning and afternoon of driving around town to some of our favorite venues including Sam's (for lunch and snacks), and of course Walgreen's for some Claritin D. We planned to kind of throw the Walgreen's trip in there just in case our stuffy-headedness that we woke up to didn't pass (remember, we're tough.)

To make this painfully drawn out story a tiny bit shorter, I broke first. I was begging for mercy after our first stop on our list of amazing and exciting places to visit over the course of an afternoon that was to be filled with amazing outdoor weather and temperature. The Claritin D barely made an impact as I crippled my way through our last few stops, and we even made it home early so that the wuss, me, could west his wittle head...

Note: At this moment, Mallory cautiously takes her Claritin D so that she will not let her body be consumed by the "Yellow" like her strong and manly, and now immobile husband is.

To make this story even sweeter, this is the third night in a row that this lovely couple fights the "Yellow!" Right now my queen is sleeping while I, her husband, can not sleep. This would seem to be so unexpected because with two previous nights of no sleep because, with all the tossing, and turning, and lack of breathing, one would assume that sleep would come naturally...

For now, the fight of the "Yellow" and the Greer's continues...

Project: Man Cave Makeover

We have a GREAT space outside affectionately known as the Man Cave.

Great for storage and working on projects.

One problem: it is kind of gross in there! The goal is not to inhibit "manliness" : ) The goal is to update, organize, paint, get out the 50 years worth of dirt that has accumulated, and make it a fun space. Right now this is what we are working with:

Spring "Break"

Ahhh....Spring Break! After a little calculating, last week I realized that this week was my 20th spring break **gasp** (K-12 = 13; UGA = 3; AU = 4). We decided that this spring "break" was going to be used to get some work done! So, in honor of my 20th (and most productive) spring break, here is what we did this week:

1. Summer hair cuts

2. Laundry, laundry, laundry

3. Pharmacy

4. Mowed the yard

5. Went to the bank

6. Nap

7. Submitted a paper

8. Got limbs off of the roof. Ok, ok. Adam cut limbs and cleaned the roof. I got on the roof to help. Then I realized that I had never been on a roof, and I was too scared to move, so I mostly sat there until he was ready to get down : )

9. Made a floor plan to update/paint/re-shelf the man cave

10. Cleaned the gutters

11. SAW MY SISTER!!!

12. Hung out with the Baker's and their dog Charlie (Cookie Monster & Charlie had an awesome time)

13. Attacked the crazy bamboo and overgrown trees in our yard

14. Bathrooms

15. Nap

16. Hung out with our baby - Cookie Monster - in the beautiful weather

17. Read about how much real babies cost(!)

18. Bleached & sealed the bottom of the house after all that rain this year

19. Cleaned the side of the man cave (check out the before and after!)

20. NAP!!!!!!

What is wrong with this picture?

This is a picture of the front of our house. A house that I so love and that has truly become our home....

But did you notice something odd? Perhaps it wouldnt be odd if it were December, but now that we are well into March...it is a little ODD!

Pulling into our driveway this afternoon, I just busted out laughing as I realized that we have become "those" people who still have CHRISTMAS LIGHTS up in MARCH!! hahahaha. Neighbors, please forgive us. It is on our to-do list, I promise.

I guess that time flies when you are having fun....all of a sudden it is March : )

Marriage is all about...

Marriage is all about....

Well, I'll get to that is a second. I started thinking about this when I heard James Dobson talk about women working on his Focus on the Family radio program (a program that I usually enjoy and appreciate the thoughtful topics introduced). He questioned how women who work can effectively be wives and mothers, and he notes that men and women have Biblically mandated roles. For women with children, he noted that our focus should be on mothering and not working outside the home. While, I do not want to stir controversy, I couldnt help but feel isolated and "put down" in a sense as a woman who really LOVES to work and as someone who is invigorated by my work.

I love the Lord, I love my husband, I love my work, and I love the thought of being a mother one day - a mother who works outside the home.

A year or two ago, my pastor did a sermon entitled, "Where is a Woman's Place?!" This had the whole congregation stirring and people anxiously awaiting to hear what he was going to say. As someone who studies gender roles in marriage, I was particularly interested in what he was going to say. He said it a million times better than I am about to explain it, but in essence...women are hard workers - inside and outside the home (Pro. 31:13-18)! A noble woman and wife is prepared (Pro. 31:21); she is a business-woman (Pro. 31:24); she is a life long learner - wise and gives good advice (Pro. 31:26); and she is a great mom (Pro. 31:28)!! Most importantly for me, her husband has confidence in her abilities and values her (Pro. 31:11).

Does that mean all women HAVE to work outside the home? Of course not, but for me I believe I have lots of energy and passion to invest in my family and my work. Should I put my work above my family? Again, of course not. I have lots of "hats" that I wear - wife, sister, daughter, therapist, student, researcher, etc., but I know that I have one goal that encompasses all of these roles, and that goal is to please God (2 Cor. 5:9) inside and outside the home : )

So....I believe that marriage is all about BALANCE!!!

What do you think?

Mal

Happy 9 month anniversary to us!!

Only 591 more months until our 50th wedding anniversary : )

I cant wait for all the adventures yet to come!

Here are a few funny pictures from the past 9 months:

**Not sure if you can see the tiny tooth brush : ) It may or may not have a cookie monster on it. Dont judge us....he has BAD breath!

**See I venture out into the man cave too to do house projects! I was painting shelves for my office closet...woo! Notice that I did bring my heater outside though. It has been a COLD winter.

**Matching Christmas PJs : ) Even the Cookie Man has a matching pair with his name. Thanks Kim!

The Bachelor...yes, I watch it : )

So, I have watched The Bachelor on and off for 8 years now (dont tell anyone! that is a bit embarrassing). A show about searching for love, looking for a spouse, and "winning" a partner all while drinking lots of wine and going on crazy, fun adventures.

Now, I am not dogging the show. Hello....8 years and I am still tuning in. (Although, Adam goes to volleyball on Monday night, he could also tell you that we are NOT rooting for Vienna this season).

I know that love can develop and flourish under a multitude of circumstances, but I looked up "the stats" for the show....0 for 13. Thirteen seasons and no marriages! BUT people keep signing up to be on the show and millions keep watching it. WHY?!?!

I think it is because people believe in love. We want to be loved and give love. We want to be part of a loving team (even Tenley used the term "team" tonight referring to being in a marriage in which they love and depend on each other!). We are made for love.

BUT we dont always know how to love, and we for sure dont always know how to express that love.

I am so thankful for the broken and unplanned road that brought me to my sweet husband. My prayer is that I keep learning everyday how to love and care for him more and more.

I know marriage is a marathon, but I want nothing more than to have him next to me on every leg of the journey....good, bad, and in between.

Love you valentine : )

"Don't Go To Bed Mad"

It seems to be classic advice that you get over and over when you get married: Dont go to bed mad! Even Paul tells us in Ephesians, "Be angry, yet do not sin. Do not let the sun go down on your anger, and do not give the devil an opportunity" (4:26-27).

I appreciate that these words of guidance teach us what to do WITH our anger, thus acknowledging that anger WILL happen. I wonder though, does that mean you have to stay up and "talk it out" until it is solved?! In Psalms, we read, "In your anger do not sin; when you are on your beds, search your hearts and be silent" (4:4). Ah ha! Be SILENT.

While I may be beating this subject into the ground a bit : ) I just think that people deal with anger differently. For example, when upset, Adam is a talker and I am a thinker. It helps him to talk it out or DO SOMETHING to change the situation; it helps me to THINK through the situation (yes, some people call it avoiding! haha) and address it again when I have a clear head.

My friend Angela and I (another marriage and family therapist) were talking about this subject the other day. She said that it was hard/almost impossible for her to sleep when her and her husband werent square. I said that when it gets too late, my ability to reason and be sympathetic runs thin. It is best for me to be silent (or write a little note!) and take the situation to God. Maybe the advice given to newly weds should be: When angry remind yourself how much you love the person laying next to you, and decide together in a spirit of love WHEN you will talk about this situation - that night or the next day.

Highlights of the Week

Monday - Adam made my FAVORITE meal! It has rice, chicken, and sausage. Not sure what it is actually called, but I call it favorite rice : ) Then I ate it for lunch twice this week and loved it again and again.

Tuesday - I spoke with a colleague of mine at the Kiwanis Club Family Expo on Stepparenting. Adam came and watched even though he has seen the same presentation a few times. Thank you sweetheart.


Wednesday - We snuck away from work and had lunch together. It was nice to see his face in the middle of the day, but note to self: Do NOT get spicy wings again when you have to go back to work for 7 hours to do therapy! haha

Thursday - Lazy tv night. Certainly needed!!

Friday/Today - We are starting a Bible study with some of our favorite people - The Baker Family & the Power Family! The study asks us to consider if marriage is intended to make us holy instead of just make us happy. Will update about progress of the study.

Saturday/Tomorrow - This will be day 16 of our bathroom project! Say a little prayer for my patience. : ) It looks amazing and Adam has done had fabulous job juggling work, school, and house projects; I am just ready to have my office back. Will post pictures of the finished product.

Happy Friday!
Mal

House Projects - Tiling the BATHROOM!

This is our (I use the term loosely as Adam did most of the work!) most extensive project yet!

Adam tore out the old floor, cleaned the yuckiness underneath, and then put in BEAUTIFUL tile....GOOO sweetheart!

I...ummm....cheered him on, took lots of pictures, and mostly stayed out of the way : )

Final project pictures coming SOON!

Mal

House Projects - The Fence!

Wood + Nail Gun + Amazing Husband = Awesome Fence that Cookie Monster Cannot Jump Through

 

Holidays!!

 

The Test of a New Marriage - Hunting Season

Written November 9th -

I am excited to report that this week my sweet husband, Adam, and I will have been married 6 whole months! As he says, “Only 594 more months until our 50th wedding anniversary!”

As a marriage and family therapist, I believe I came into this marriage with all the right tools: realistic expectations, knowledge about how to communicate effectively, and an understanding that as much as we love each other, we are two imperfect people who do not always “get it right.”

Well…let me tell you one thing, all the BEST marriage books could not have prepared me for one thing….HUNTING SEASON! Ladies, why didn’t someone tell me about this?!

Let me give you an example. A few weeks ago Adam was getting prepared for bow season. For people who are completely clueless like me, that means you can only use a bow to kill the deer. No guns allowed. Well, he invited me to go out to the woods with him to move his deer stand. It sounded innocent enough. I thought, “Great. I’ll spend time with Adam, get some sun, and be back for the game.” So, I packed some food and decided to bring Cookie Monster (our Chihuahua) along too.

45 minutes later – We are in the woods looking for the perfect spot to put the tree stand. Smiling.

5 minutes later – I realize we are “in the woods” and I’m not going to get any sun. Still smiling.

2 minutes later – I realize I should have worn jeans. The brush makes my legs inch! Still smiling.

1 minute later – Adam tells me maybe I should carry Cookie Monster because there are bobcats in the woods that could get him! Strike of panic, but smiling!

60 minutes later – We are STILL walking and looking for the “perfect” spot. My legs itch and my arms are tired from carrying Cookie Monster. Not complaining & even an occasional smile.

15 minutes later – We find the perfect spot! Woo! I put Cookie Monster down finally. Smiling and getting excited about the game.

30 minutes later – Game has started. We have looked at every tree in the perfect spot, and we have found the perfect tree for the stand! Cookie Monster walks through an ant bed, and he is freaking out a bit. Not complaining.

10 minutes later – We examined every possible angle on the perfect tree in the perfect spot in the woods. We select the perfect angle for the stand! Too tired to smile.

1 minute later – I realize why I was REALLY invited!! It takes 2 people to get the tree stand up. One on the bottom to hold it steady and one person 15 feet in the air to strap it to the tree!!!!! Guess which one I was. NOT smiling.

10 minutes later – Glad to be alive. 15 feet felt more like 500 feet! Trying not to hyperventilate!

1 minute later – I am still on the ground about to give Adam a “stern talking to” when I look up and see him smiling from ear to ear. THREE hours later, we had really found the perfect angle on the perfect tree in the perfect spot in the woods! Now smiling again (but only a little).

I guess the marriage books are right and maybe they did prepare me for hunting season. We know that when couples don’t have “shared meaning” about a given situation or event it can lead to conflict. It would have been best if we both had the same idea of what it means to go move a deer stand. I obviously had a very different idea of what we would be doing that day. When I realized that we didn’t have shared meaning, I had to recognize the meaning that Adam attached to the event and be respectful of that (even when I didn’t feel like smiling!).

Hunting season may not be my thing, but I can roll over at 4am and wish him good luck; I can frame the picture of my smiling husband holding up his prized possession (even if it is gross and the deer’s tongue is hanging out!); and I can appreciate the fact that as much as we love each other, it is good to have our individual interests : )

Happy anniversary sweetheart & happy hunting season!